Baby, It's Cold Outside (Romance From a Male POV) (Fire & Ice) Page 11

I saw Justine run into the bathroom and a second later I heard the sound of destruction. What the hell was happening now? I walked slowly up to the door which she had left conveniently open and saw shit scattered everywhere. She had pulled open all of the drawers and cabinet doors and there was stuff strewn all over the counter. I watched her rummaging through the cabinet for about twenty seconds before I couldn’t take the curiosity anymore.

  “What’s going on?” I was sure she had an explanation for tearing up the bathroom, but for the life of me, I couldn’t think what.

  “Where is it?” She was looking at me wildly and I felt the need to take a step back in self-preservation.

  “Where is what?” I asked warily.

  “My ring.” Her ring? She hardly ever wore rings; she said they got in the way when she was cooking.

  “I guess in your jewelry box.”

  “Why would you put it in my jewelry box?” She was looking at me like I was the one acting bizarre. A second later she tore past me and into the bedroom. I turned on my heel and followed, not exactly sure what was going on in her mind.

  “It’s not here.” She actually growled the words. Okay, she didn’t usually suffer from severe PMS symptoms, but maybe with the head injury and all, everything was exaggerated.

  “Which ring are you looking for? It might be in the bowl on the kitchen windowsill,” I told her helpfully. She might have forgotten she keeps some jewelry there.

  Nothing in the world, however, could have caught me as off guard as her next words. They literally stole my breath and made me feel as if I had been kicked in the chest. Maybe I did have the second sight.

  “My engagement ring, Carter. Where is it?”

  Chapter Twenty Two

  What just happened? Had she just demanded to know where her engagement ring was? My mind was grappling with the fact that she knew.

  “What?” I managed to croak out. Maybe I had misheard her. It was possible.

  “Oh Carter. I’m so sorry.” Nope. I had heard her right the first time. How had she found out about the ring? Wait. Did she remember?

  “Juss, did you remember something?”

  “Everything. I remember everything. It just came back to me out of the blue.”

  “Just now?” I rushed over to where she was standing and pulled her to me. This was amazing. I felt joy mixed with relief.

  “In the kitchen.” I could barely understand the words, she had spoken so softly.

  “In the kitchen? And you didn’t say anything?” I felt hurt to have been kept in the dark even for ten minutes.

  “I just freaked out. I didn’t know what to say.”

  “How about ‘Carter, I remember.’?” I accused. I was still excited, but now I was feeling something else, unease and the weird foreboding feeling was starting to make sense.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “When were you planning to tell me?”

  “I just needed a minute to myself. I was freaking out a little bit.”

  “Did you need the time just to dig around for the ring?” It physically hurt me to ask that. She knew about the ring. She knew I was going to propose and she didn’t say anything. She left me in the kitchen clueless and came in here to tear up the room. For what?

  She didn’t answer for a second so I raised my brow.

  “No, well yes. I remembered the ring and I just had to make sure that I was right. But it’s not in your drawer anymore so I was worried you had changed your mind. I don’t know what happened after that, I just snapped. I had to find it. I didn’t mean to ruin your surprise, Carter. Really.”

  “I moved it.” A tiny bit of the pressure in my chest eased as I realized she was worried about me changing my mind. Whew. Maybe I had been freaking out for nothing.

  “Oh.” She didn’t say anything else. I didn’t know what to say either so we just stood there a foot apart and looked at each other. I felt the obvious, relief that she had her memory back, but that feeling was being smashed down by the wave of disappointment I felt about her reaction. What did it all mean?

  “Well, at least you got your memory back. That’s what’s most important right now.” And it was. I had my Justine back. Then I was struck with a thought. What if she didn’t remember everything? She might remember the ring, but what about the rest of the last two years? Our entire lives together?

  “So, you remember the last two years?” She nodded. “What about us? Do you remember us?”

  “Of course. That’s why I hugged you in the kitchen. I was so happy to remember you again.” She smiled and took a step to close the distance between us. “I love you. Thank you for taking such good care of me.” She pulled me tight against her and I could honestly say I had never loved her more.

  She remembered us. I was giddy for a moment, just wallowing in the wonderful cocoon of normalcy. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my chest and the enormity of my emotions in the past two days lightened to nothing.

  “Oh Juss. I love you so much.” I took her face in my hands and kissed her. Scratch that. I devoured her. Well, her mouth at least. It felt like we had been apart for a month even though she had been right next to me all day. She moaned, or maybe I did, but the sound just spurred me on. I walked her back to the bed where we had been sitting thirty minutes before, but this time everything was different. I separated myself from her to grab the remote and turn off the movie which was still playing in the background. The silence was soon taken over by the sound of clothes being pulled off. Justine had pulled off her top and I was greeted with the sight of her tits.

  I yanked my shirt off at the same time Justine was kicking her pajama bottoms off of her legs.

  “Hurry,” she said while reaching for the snap of my jeans. I didn’t need to be told twice. I pulled them down at superhero speed and kicked them away. We were both naked seconds later and Justine hopped up to kneel on the bed, pulling me with her. I followed and pressed up against her with our bodies connected from head to knee. We kissed a minute more before I went to press her down onto the mattress.

  I reached down to feel her arousal and my finger slipped inside her slick folds. I bent to bring my mouth down but she put a hand to my shoulder.

  “No time. I need you inside of me now.”

  I was happy to oblige, steeling myself before I entered her so that I wouldn’t shoot my load instantly. I tried to go slow, inching in, but that proved torturous. I ended up thrusting forward after a moment and stilling myself while seated to the hilt.

  “Oohuh.” I wasn’t sure how to describe the sounds that came from Justine. They were completely incoherent, but it was a good sound. I pulled back and slammed into her again and this time I was the one grunting. I grabbed her ass and hoisted her a little higher, at a better angle and pounded into her faster and harder. Justine was beyond speech, all that I could hear were whimpering sounds and the sounds of our bodies crashing together. Moments later I felt Justine tense up and her legs, which were latched on to mine, seemed to pull me closer.

  She let out a hoarse scream, and then followed that by grabbing on to my wrists next to her head. I could feel her coming down so I pulled out and put my arm around her waist.

  “Flip over.” She followed my command without protest and I hauled her butt up so that she was on her hands and knees. I maneuvered myself into just the right position then brought her down on top of my cock. She slid down on me like she was born to it.

  “Oh god, Carter. Harder.” I started pistoning in and out of her like a machine; my movements were the definition of banging as I pounded her pussy. When I felt her come again and collapse from her hands to her elbows, I slowed my pace.

  I was ready to come myself, so I took her torso in my hands and pulled her up and back so that she was seated on my thighs and I sat back on my heels. She was still fully impaled on me so I took both of my hands and grabbed onto her hip with one hand and putting my other on her stomach, sliding her up and down on top of me. I was so close. My breaths were coming in gasps, a
nd her back was pressed up against my chest, her hair swirling around my face in all of its glory.

  “Ugh, ugh, ugh.” I was back to making grunting noises and Justine took this as a sign to grind herself down on top of me. She was only able to do that twice before I exploded into her.

  I collapsed forward, taking Justine with me and rolled us onto our sides while I got my breath back.

  After a few minutes I regained the power of speech.

  “I missed you.” I whispered the words against her head as she pressed against me. I fully understood how scared I had felt now that the danger of her forgetting me for all time was gone.

  “I missed you, too. I don’t ever want to feel so alone again.” Her words made my heart skip. I didn’t ever want her to feel alone. I wanted her with me. Every day. This brought me back to the disaster of Friday. I wanted to know how she felt and what happened even as a tiny part of me was afraid to hear the answer.

  We stayed like that for a minute, until I couldn’t stand it anymore. It was like a big gorilla standing in the corner. There was no point in trying to ignore it. I was feeling unnaturally tongue-tied. I wasn’t even sure what to ask.

  I had a proposal on the tip of my tongue. I knew this was the defining moment for me. For our relationship. It wasn’t anything like I had planned, either. There was no romantic music or scented candles. We were naked and recovering from a bout of super athletic sex, and we were both suffering from cat injuries not to mention Justine’s bruised face. No, it wasn’t like I had planned at all, but it was the right time. Past time even, but I kept that question to myself.

  “We need to talk. About it.” I couldn’t bring myself to say the words and obviously Justine was having a problem with it too, because all I heard was her sigh.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  We were entwined, and I was feeling slightly sweaty from the sex, but there was no way I was going to let her go. Now that I knew Justine’s memory was back, I realized how close I had come to losing her. Maybe not her person, she might have learned to love me again. Actually, I was pretty sure of that, but I meant the part of her that was all for me. All of our memories together formed the people we were now and we were just better together. I wasn’t being conceited. She worked better with me, just as I was a better man with her. We were a good team.

  As much as I wanted to stay like we were, I knew we had to get things out in the open. I was a little scared; I wasn’t sure what she was going to tell me. If someone would have asked me four days ago if I thought there was any chance that Justine wouldn’t want to marry me, I would have laughed in his face. The very idea of it was preposterous. Amazing how quickly your beliefs can change. Right now I could feel anxiousness crawling up my spine. She wasn’t saying anything so I had to take the bull by the horns.

  “Well, I guess I’ll start. How did you find out about the ring?” She scooted away from me and for a split second I was afraid she was getting up, but she just rolled over and looked me in the eye.

  “Elisa told me.” That was it. When I got back to work, she was going down. “She just called me out of the blue and I wouldn’t have answered normally, but I was just finished uploading my latest post and I was distracted thinking about what dishes I wanted to order for dinner that night at the new Thai place. Once I hit the button I was sorry I had done it, but it was too late. She was talking about going on a date with some guy from work and I was just listening and agreeing with her when she told me she had something to tell me in confidence.” I needed to find out who she was dating and warn the poor sap. “She told me that you had told everyone in the office that you had a ring for me and you were going to ask me to marry you.” Everyone? I was telling my work friends, Elisa was just being nosy.

  “I didn’t say anything for a second because I was so caught off guard, but then she went on and said you had something special planned for me. I told her thanks for the info and hung up.”

  “I don’t know how to explain it Carter, I was here all alone and I just panicked. I thought about the shopping trip that Cheryl had strong-armed me into and it all fit. Then I wondered if Elisa was telling me the truth so I went through your desk, sorry.” I didn’t care about her rummaging through my desk, my thoughts were stuck on the fact that she felt panicked when she realized I wanted to marry her. How could that have come as such a surprise?

  “When I couldn’t find anything there I started going through your drawers, and I must say you don’t hide things very well.” I raised my brow at her and she hastily went on.

  “Anyway, I stood there with the box in my hand and my heart was pounding. I was afraid to open it but at the same time I was excited. When I pulled the top back it felt like my heart stopped. It was the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen. The green of the stone was like the color of your eyes and all I wanted at that moment was to for you to ask me to marry you.” She closed her eyes and I let myself feel a rush of happiness.

  “But after a minute I started thinking about being married and it just seemed like the most frightening thing in the world.” My happy bubble popped as quickly as it formed. My face must have shown some sign of it because she reached up to caress my cheek.

  “What are you afraid of?” I could barely get the words out; my throat felt like it was closing up. My worst fears were being realized. She didn’t want to marry me.

  “That I won’t be the kind of wife you need. You know that I don’t have any example of how to be a good wife except your mother, and I am definitely not in the same league as Sharon. I can’t entertain people effortlessly like she does, I’m not a good decorator, I mean, since you’ve moved in my house is the most stylish I’ve ever seen it. You know me Carter. I say the wrong thing at every opportunity, there’s no telling what kind of trouble my mouth will get me into next. The whole reason my web show got so popular was because of all the dumb crap I say when I go off-script. If we were married, it would reflect on you.”

  Was she seriously thinking I wanted to marry a carbon copy of my mother? I loved Mom, but the life I had with Justine was exactly what I wanted.

  “You are the kind of wife I want, Justine, and that’s all that matters to me. I don’t want a clone of my mother. I want you. I need you.” I wasn’t exaggerating to her at all. The past few days would have shown me that if I hadn’t already known.

  She leaned forward and kissed my lips. I wanted to lean into her and respond, but I wasn’t finished digging for answers.

  “Is that why you were acting so weird Friday night?” She looked taken aback by my words but she didn’t miss a beat.

  “Well, yeah. I mean, I had just been told a huge secret, which the more I think about it was incredibly hateful of her, ruining your moment and all, and then I was feeling guilty because I went through all of your stuff and found the ring. I was practically bursting. I was feeling all wound up. Then you came home as relaxed as ever and you weren’t acting like you had some big secret then I started second guessing myself.”

  I cut her off before she could say any more. “Okay, I get it, but I have to ask, and don’t lie to me now, do you think you got the amnesia because you didn’t want to marry me? Seriously Justine, you forgot our entire relationship. You forgot back to before we were ever together.” Really, what could she say to that? It was the truth. I wasn’t sure that I had even asked her a fair question. She probably didn’t know why she had gotten amnesia.

  “I’m so sorry Carter. I don’t know what else to say. I would never have done that on purpose.” She sounded so miserable that I started to feel guilty.

  “I know, babe.”

  “Really, I love you so much. I would never want to forget you. You’re the most important thing in my life. You are it for me.”

  And just like that, my world was put to rights. My proposal was back on. I had to fight the urge to ask her right that second. I wanted everything to be perfect like I had planned in the first place. I was aware that she was probably waiting for me to say something, but my mi
nd was racing with new plans. Obviously, Saturday’s plan wasn’t going to fly. Luckily, Cheryl had been able to call and cancel the boat I had rented for the evening. I had planned on a cruise around the lake, and damn it, the weather had been perfect that evening, but after everything that had happened, I wanted something a little more personal.

  Justine’s eyes were unfocused and she was looking dreamy, meanwhile, I was suddenly famished. All of the stress and misery of the last few days seemed to have evaporated into thin air. I felt like a new man. She wanted me. She wanted me. There wasn’t any doubt in my mind anymore, she would be my wife. That sounded great. Wife. I would be able to introduce her as “My wife, Justine.” Hot and famous.

  Suddenly, I couldn’t wait any longer. If I didn’t get out of this bed this instant I was going to blurt out a proposal and I didn’t want Justine’s memory to be me just asking her without the ring in hand or any finesse. I wanted it to be something she would always think back on with joy.

  “I’m starving. I’m going to make a sandwich. Do you want me to make you anything?”

  She sat up fast like she was going to get up and eat with me but then she said, “No, I’m not hungry.”

  I stood up and grabbed my jeans and pulled them on, tossing a smile over my shoulder at my love, still on the bed watching me. I wanted to turn around and hop back down next to her but I forced myself to continue on to the kitchen.

  When I got there I heard Monique growling from the other side of the laundry room door. She probably recognized me from my footfalls. Yeah, I was calling a kennel first thing when I got up in the morning. I didn’t think Justine was going to have any problem with it now that she was back to normal. She hated the cat, too.

  I gathered up all the ingredients for my sandwich, even pulling out a tomato and a block of Swiss cheese. I was just beginning the assembly process when Justine barged in looking put out. I smirked at her; she was like Lucy in the way she wanted to eat if someone else was eating.