Baby, It's Cold Outside (Romance From a Male POV) (Fire & Ice) Page 5

  I had finished the front view of the house and was just starting on the back view when Justine opened the door.

  “Everything okay?”

  “I was just going to get on the computer, but since you’re busy I’ll just go get my phone. What is this?” Ah, she would have the pleasure of seeing my Star Wars collection like it was the first time.

  “Rebel Base.” I could tell she was speechless with wonder. Who could blame her? It was bad-ass. I was hoping she would notice and comment on my two foot high Boba-Fett that had cost me countless hours of scouring eBay to procure, but instead she started to turn around. I jumped to my feet.

  “Wait. You can get on the computer, you won’t be bothering me.” I turned on the PC before she could protest and leave.

  “What happened to my other computer?”

  “Your laptop? It’s over there.” I pointed to the shelf above my life sized R2D2 trash can. “This one is mine, but it’s the main one we use.”

  “Can you tell me how to get to my site? I’d like to look at it a little closer.” I leaned over her and typed in the address. “Thanks.”

  I watched her as she cruised through her site and started opening the cooking videos. She opened chicken scaloppini. Mmm. That was fucking delicious. As she turned her back to the camera to grab something from behind her, I couldn’t help but zero in on her butt perfectly framed in a tight black skirt. My dick got hard again.

  “You’re great, aren’t you? You should read the feedback on that episode. It was phenomenal.” She looked so confident on the screen and hot as hell. She was like a sexy Julia Child but on the internet. Her hilarious accidents and monologues sometimes went viral, and she had a high proportion of male fans, something rather unique in the cooking show world. She was a freaking web star. I wanted that Justine to be sitting here with me right now.

  “It’s awesome. I can’t believe it’s me.” That was exactly what I meant. She didn’t have the confidence in herself that she normally had.

  She went on to another clip and I noticed she was panting. “What’s the matter?”

  “Huh?”

  “Why are you breathing so loudly?”

  “I guess I was just excited about the stroganoff.” She stopped panting and started blushing, so I knew it was more than the stroganoff. Well, maybe it was the stroganoff; she might be ready for some dinner.

  “Are you hungry? It’s been hours since lunch.” Come to think of it, I could probably eat something myself.

  “I’m okay. I’ll probably make a sandwich in a little while.” Her stomach growled at just that moment, so I knew she needed some food.

  I hopped up from beside her. “You stay here and relax. I’ll make us some sandwiches.” I left the room before she could come up with some excuse. She would be eating with me.

  I opened the refrigerator to see what we had. Turkey, ham and roast beef. I pulled out the turkey for me and the cheese for Juss. She put way too much mayo on her sandwiches for my taste, but I was going to make her just what she liked. Once the sandwiches were made I got out a bag of chips and shook some on to each plate. Lucy was jumping around my feet so I grabbed a piece of cheese for her before I put everything away and made my way back to the office. Justine was still looking through her site.

  “Thank you.” Justine took the plate and set it on her knees while I sat down on my stool and started on my sandwich. We didn’t talk at all, so we were finished pretty quickly. She stood up and held her hand out to me. “Are you through with that?”

  I gave her my plate right after giving Lucy my last bite. “Thanks, babe.” She just looked at me. I didn’t know what she was waiting for so I just looked back. Eventually she took off and after a couple of minutes I realized she wasn’t coming back so I got back to my drawing. I had the back view looking pretty good, and I still hadn’t heard a peep out of Justine. I got up to see if she had decided to hide herself back in the bedroom.

  I heard her before I even made it to the kitchen. She was sobbing against the refrigerator and my heart plunged into my stomach. She sounded distraught. I walked up behind her and turned her around before pulling her to me.

  “Juss.” I didn’t know what else to say. I let her cry, she obviously needed it. I was surprised she had waited this long before breaking apart.

  After a few minutes she quieted down a bit and looked up at me. “Kiss me, Carter.” I wanted to, but I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. I really wanted to, though, so I went for it. She went from zero to ten in a split second. I pressed her against the refrigerator so that I could steady us. The moment she sucked my lip into her mouth my cock sprang to attention, I wanted to bury myself in her right here against the refrigerator. I pressed myself into her and she squeaked. Holy shit, what was I doing? I pulled back a little to try to get my bearings. She didn’t need this right now. She didn’t even know how much I love her, much less how she feels about me.

  “Why are you stopping?”

  “This isn’t right.” I had to force the words out of my mouth; my body didn’t want me to say them. I reached up and loosened her hands from the back of my head.

  “Are you kidding me?” I wish I was.

  “No, I’m so sorry Justine, but you’re not ready for this. I wish to god you were, but…” She didn’t even give me the chance to finish before she went on.

  “But nothing. I can’t believe you. You’re up in my face all day, but the minute I give you some encouragement you push me away.” She shoved me aside after verbally punching me in the gut. I felt bad, but I wasn’t some sadistic tease. I turned to follow her and I made it to the hall just as she was slamming the bedroom door.

  I opened the door a little harder than I meant to and she looked over at me with tears running down her face.

  “Get out.”

  “No. Listen, I would never forgive myself if…”

  “Get out!” She screamed it this time, but I wasn’t going anywhere.

  “No.” I yelled back so that I could get her attention. “Do you think I wanted to stop? Hell no. I had to. You’re fragile right now. I won’t take advantage of this situation. I fucking love you. If you don’t know another thing right now, I want you to understand that.” She didn’t say anything, just stood there looking at me. I pulled her to my chest.

  “I love you.” This time there was no need to yell. I knew she heard me loud and clear.

  We remained there unmoving until finally she leaned back. “I’m going to go to bed now, Carter.” I didn’t move. “Goodnight.”

  “Goodnight, love.” I tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. I knew that there was nothing else I could do tonight. I had to hope that she would wake up tomorrow and her amnesia would be gone.

  I walked over to the bed and deliberately grabbed Justine’s pillow before going to the chest and pulling out a blanket. I didn’t even turn around when I left the room. What was the point? I carried my bundle to the couch and flopped down. I didn’t even have Lucy to lay with me tonight, I was totally alone.

  I turned the TV back on, but not even Shark Week could hold my attention. I thought about going back to my drawing board, but I was too tired to get up and walk there. I did have enough energy to spread the blanket over my legs before I set the sleep timer on the TV and burrowed into Justine’s pillow. Knowing she was right down the hall put me more at ease than last night, so I fell asleep as soon as I closed my eyes.

  I woke earlier than usual for the third morning in a row. After I put the coffee on I trudged to the bathroom in a half-sleep haze and was surprised when the door opened and Justine was standing there in her robe. What was she doing up? This was early for me, but for her this might as well be the middle of the night. She was so not a morning person.

  “Good morning. I’m finished. You can have the bathroom now.” I raised my brows at her tone. What the hell got into her this morning? “Excuse me.” So much for my hope of her complete recovery, that was obviously not a greeting of remembered love.

&nb
sp; “Morning.”

  She brushed me as she passed. Okay. It was shaping up to be one of those days. I hurried in the bathroom, barely taking the time to brush my teeth since I was desperately in need of coffee.

  I stopped off in the living room to get my book before I went back to the kitchen. I threw it down on the island and grabbed my mug from the cabinet. I pulled Justine’s favorite mug down, too, before plopping down at the island to read. I was actually about ten pages into it when Justine walked in.

  “I made some coffee.”

  “Thanks.” I noticed she was dressed for going out. I was fine with that. Maybe we both needed to get out of the house today, because yesterday wasn’t a raving success by staying in.

  “You look nice.” She had obviously taken extra time with her hair and makeup. I could only hope that part of it was for me.

  “Thank you.” I looked back down at my book since she sounded flustered. “Do you want any breakfast?”

  “Only if you want to make some, I was going to make do with coffee.” At the mention of food I was suddenly ravenous.

  “Omelet okay?”

  “Great. Do you want any help?”

  “Sure.” I got up from my seat and reached for my coffee as Justine set some things on the counter.

  “Bacon and mushroom omelet, your favorite.” I gasped and was glad I hadn’t picked up my coffee yet.

  “What?” Justine turned and looked at me quizzically.

  “You know what my favorite breakfast is.” I couldn’t believe it. My heart started pounding. The miracle had occurred.

  Chapter Ten

  “Oh my god! How did I know that?” She looked as excited as I felt.

  I wrapped my hands around her upper arms. “What else do you remember?” I searched her face while she paused to think. After a few seconds she slowly shook her head and I tried to hide my disappointment.

  “That’s okay, sweetie. It’s in there somewhere. This is a great sign. Maybe it will happen while you aren’t even trying.” I was trying to be happy for the one little memory, but after being so high a second ago, this seemed to drag me even farther down than I was before.

  “I guess I’ll start the food.” She sounded as defeated as I felt. She began putting bacon in the frying pan so I walked behind her and wrapped her in my arms.

  “Justine, we’ll get through this. Who knows what you’ll remember next?” I gave her a tight squeeze before I let her go to get a bowl to mix the eggs in. I handed it to her and we worked in silence until the omelets were ready. I made toast while she got out plates and in a few minutes we were eating. It was just like any other morning except that it wasn’t. Not at all.

  Justine got up and was about to start clearing the mess, but I put out a hand to her arm.

  “What would you like to do today?” I figured that since she was already dressed we could leave the house and do something different.

  “Um, I hadn’t really thought about it. What would I usually do on a Monday?”

  I had to admit I had no idea how she spent a Monday morning. “I don’t really know. I’m usually at work.” Luckily, I was off until further notice, so I could spend this Monday with Justine.

  “Maybe we could go to the farmer’s market or something? It’s a nice day.” I followed her eyes to the window and found that it was indeed looking bright and sunny out. I wouldn’t have cared if it was pouring rain, she wanted to go to the farmer’s market with me.

  “Sure, we could do that. Whatever you want. Today is all about you.” I said the words calmly but I was jumping up and down on the inside. Justine had told me she loved me for the first time on a trip to the farmer’s market.

  I started clearing up the breakfast dishes. It only took a minute, and I could feel Justine staring at me the entire time. I wanted to say something cute like “Liking what you see?” but I didn’t think she would take it lightheartedly. She would probably think I was trying to embarrass her or something. Fucking amnesia; I couldn’t even joke with my girlfriend.

  When everything was put away I turned around and I could tell she was trying to pretend she was looking at her fingers. Ha. It felt a little like high school. That was kind of cool, actually. Maybe I would have to win her back. I felt confident that I could. I did it before, but it would be a whole lot easier on us both if she would just get her memory back.

  “I’m going to take a shower. You decide what you want to do.” I leaned down to give her a kiss on my way out but stopped myself just in time. I straightened back up and went to get myself together.

  I took a pretty quick shower, more to wake myself up fully than to clean, but I felt a whole lot better when I was finished. No matter what else went on today, at least Justine remembered something. That was enough for right now. It was progress. I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked to the bedroom for clothes. Justine was sitting on the bed gaping at me. It made me have the childish urge to let the towel drop, but I refrained, the blush on her cheeks was ample acknowledgement of my near nakedness.

  “Sorry, I thought you were still in the kitchen.” I wasn’t sorry at all. I had to use whatever tools I had to put myself in the forefront of her mind. If I had to swan around like an exhibitionist, I would.

  “No problem. Let me get out of here so you can get dressed.” She shot out of the room like there was a fire, so maybe she wasn’t ready for this much of me yet. After last night on the couch though, I wasn’t feeling quite as noble. I threw on my clothes without much thought. Everything I had pretty much went together, so I didn’t have to worry about looking stupid. Growing up, Cheryl had tried to imbue me with a sense of fashion, but the truth was that all of my clothes went together, kind of like Garanimals for adults. I put on my shoes and paused in front of the mirror to check myself. I ran my fingers through my hair, disgruntled when it looked exactly the same as before.

  I thought of the ring tucked away in my drawer, but I resisted the urge to put it in my pocket on the off chance she remembered everything today. I planned on popping the question the first chance I got, but I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be today. I just shook my head and went back to the living room where Justine was sitting on the couch.

  “Are you ready to go? It’s still early, we can wait.”

  “Yeah, I’m ready, let’s get out of here.” We walked out and I locked up the house. When we got outside she stopped and looked from her car to mine. “Would you like to go in my car?”

  Hell no. I want to live. “Uh, no that’s okay. I hate your driving.” Talk about understatements. Luckily she had an older Land Rover that was built like a tank, so I didn’t have to worry about her driving it. However, I preferred to drive whenever we went anywhere.

  “Excuse me?” She actually looked insulted.

  “Well, you punch the gas and mash on the brakes constantly. I can’t relax in the car with you.”

  “Fine, you drive. Where are we going?”

  “The farmer’s market. That’s the first thing you said so I figured that’s where you really wanted to go.” I hit the unlock button and we both climbed in.

  “I know you probably think it’s stupid to want to go there, but we can find something for dinner.”

  “Not at all. I like going there too. It’s full of happy memories.” She looked at me skeptically but I didn’t say anything else as we drove. I found a parking space relatively close to the action. Justine’s face carried a smile from ear to ear, the biggest one in days.

  “Thanks. I really needed this.”

  “My pleasure.” I smiled back at her and stuffed my hand in my pocket so that I wouldn’t grab her hand. It felt totally unnatural to me to walk around this place and not hold Justine’s hand, but the look of happiness on her face made up for it. As we walked and she pored over the contents of every table I could see the stress of the past couple of days evaporating little by little.

  “What would you like me to make tonight? Pick anything here.” She opened her arms indicating to me she had no pr
eference. I on the other hand could only think of one thing.

  “Asparagus risotto?” It was what she cooked for me on our “first date” which was composed of Monopoly and dinner. It was the best date I ever had.

  She turned on her heel to go back to a table we had just passed. The man gathered up a gigantic pile of asparagus and stuffed it into the cloth bag Justine handed him. As we walked back toward the truck she grabbed my hand. She was standing there with a strange look on her face.

  “Carter. I just remembered something.” I looked at her with my heart in my throat.

  “What?” I tried to make my voice calm but I’m sure I failed miserably.

  “I told you I loved you here.” Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  “Yes. It was the first time you ever said it to me. Right over there.” I lifted up our joint hands to point to a parking spot a few yards away.

  “Let’s go home, I want to look at pictures and see if I remember anything else.” She pulled me over to the truck.

  “One thing first.” I released our hands and cupped her face. “I love you, Justine.” I let my hand drop and opened her door. I couldn’t help the smile that I knew was plastered on my face. I felt on top of the world. She was remembering. It was as much as I could hope for.

  “I’m glad we came here.” Justine sounded as happy as I felt.

  “Me too. I told you I had good memories from here.” My memory bank just had another deposit. This one was almost as good as the first one.

  Chapter Eleven

  We started for home and I was feeling better than I had felt in days. She remembered where she told me she loved me. That was so much more important than her remembering my favorite omelet. If things were going to start coming back to her by just recreating the moment, my idea for a first date redo was hopefully going to flip the switch.