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  The doorbell chimes jolted me out of my thoughts. Yay! Cheryl was here and I don’t think I’d ever been happier to see her.

  Chapter Seven

  My smile was one of happiness as well as relief. I could relax, if only for a little while. I made my way out to the living room as Carter was opening the door. My smile got wider as I saw Paulo’s dark head behind Cheryl.

  “Cheryl, Paulo, I’m so glad you’re here.” They couldn’t possibly know how glad I was right then. I was still feeling foolish about screaming a minute ago. Just thinking about that made me cringe. Great, now I was blushing, too. I met them in the middle of the room as Carter took their jackets. Just like he lived here. I reached out and gave Cheryl a hug and then Paulo pulled me in for another.

  “You doing okay, honey?” he asked me in his Portuguese accent. Cheryl had met Paulo our senior year while he was here on a student visa. They fell in love and he never went back.

  “I’m good. A little freaked out, though.” I shrugged as I stepped back and motioned them to come in farther. “Are you hungry? I just finished the rice. We can eat anytime.”

  “I can smell my favorite enchiladas, Justine. You know I’m ready.” Paulo put me at ease immediately. I was glad he had come along and I was also glad I had made the enchiladas. Suddenly I felt that maybe everything was going to be okay. I took a deep breath as Carter turned back from the coat closet and sent me a smile. A real one. Not one like he’s just humoring the weirdo who screams out loud for no reason. I felt warm inside.

  “Let’s eat, I haven’t had anything since lunch yesterday,” Carter said this as we walked into the kitchen, and I felt a tug on my heart. Even I had eaten and I was the one who was in the hospital.

  We all busied ourselves with various tasks. Cheryl got drinks for everyone while Carter and Paulo set the table. Once everyone was seated we started serving ourselves. I was glad they were here. It just felt like family. Not like my family, which consisted of only Gloria since my father had ditched her before I was born, but a close, normal family that actually liked to be around each other. The family I had always craved.

  “So Justine, any breakthroughs since you’ve been home?” Paulo asked.

  “Uh no, nothing.” I was embarrassed to admit to no improvement.

  “She’s only been home for a few hours, give her a break.” Carter was speaking to Paulo but looking at me. I hurriedly looked back down at my plate and scooped up some rice, shoving it into my mouth so quickly that some of the grains went down my throat. I started coughing and grabbed for my water, gulping it down. I looked up and everyone was staring at me.

  “Sorry, it went down the wrong way,” I croaked out. Why couldn’t I just be smooth for once? I slowly brought a bite of enchilada to my mouth and daintily started to chew. Everybody else went back to eating so I turned to Cheryl.

  “How was the christening?”

  “Fine. The parents went all out on this thing. There were almost as many guests as my wedding. I hope they call me to plan his first birthday party.” The mention of her wedding made me feel bad again. I didn’t know how many people came to her wedding. That was something a best friend should know.

  “How are you coming with the cookbook?” Paulo asked between bites.

  “I don’t know,” I said stupidly. I looked at Carter and waited for him to answer. He was probably the only one of us that knew.

  “It’s coming along. She’s pretty much figured out what she’s putting in there. We were just talking about if she was going to make the food for the pictures or hire a food stylist.”

  Hire a food stylist for my own book? I don’t think so. Then again, I didn’t even know what recipes were in there so maybe I shouldn’t jump to conclusions.

  “Either way, my pictures will make them fabulous.” Paulo was an excellent photographer whose work was often featured in magazines, even so Cheryl groaned at his statement. “What?” Paulo’s confidence was something that I was familiar with and that made me happy. Things felt kind of normal in a weird “time moved forward two years overnight” way.

  Lunch progressed without further incident and before I realized it most of the afternoon had gone by in idle chatter about nothing in particular. It’s not like I would be up-to-date on anything recent. That would have been cool on a regular day, but I kept waiting for something to clue me in to the present. Nothing happened and by four Cheryl and Paulo were getting ready to go home. I couldn’t let Cheryl leave without having an important talk.

  “Cheryl, can I talk to you for a second?” I motioned toward my bedroom. “In my room.”

  “Sure.” She followed me and shut the door. “What’s wrong?”

  “Everything’s wrong, but I just needed to talk to you about Carter. What am I supposed to do?” I sat down on the bed.

  “Do about what?” She looked confused.

  “Well, I mean, I don’t know where he’s going to sleep or anything. What am I supposed to do with him tonight? I’ve never spent this much time alone with him before. I’m running out of things to talk about.”

  She looked at me and didn’t say anything for a beat. “I don’t know what to say to you about this, you love being around him. You guys spend all your time together. You’re always laughing at some inside joke or whispering between yourselves. I would feel left out if I didn’t have Paulo.”

  I took a moment to absorb that. We were one of those couples. I couldn’t get my mind around it. I had never been like that in any relationship, not even in high school. It seemed like I was a completely different person.

  “But what am I supposed to do with him tonight?” It didn’t appear that Cheryl was getting the import of what I was saying.

  “Have him sleep on the couch. It’s okay, he won’t be mad at you, he’ll understand. Don’t get yourself worked up over it.” She rubbed my upper arm. “Do you want us to stay a while longer?”

  “No, that’s okay. I’ll be okay.” I said this more for myself than for her.

  We sat there for a few more seconds and then she stood up and walked back out to the living room. The guys were sitting on the couch playing with Lucy who was burning around the living room in tight circles with her toy gripped in her teeth. Carter looked up when we came in but didn’t say anything. Paulo stood up and handed Cheryl her jacket.

  We hugged goodbye and they were gone. It was just the two of us again. We hadn’t cleaned the kitchen after lunch, just set the dishes on the counter, so I made my way to put everything in the dishwasher. Carter followed me and pulled out a clean dishrag as I started rinsing off the plates and utensils. I was nervous about being alone in the kitchen with him after what happened earlier, but the dishes had to get done and I couldn’t avoid him forever.

  He wet the rag and squeezed a bit of dish soap on it, and I thought he would be all anal and pre-wash the plates or something, but he walked over to the table and wiped it down instead. I put everything in the dishwasher and Carter put the leftovers into plastic containers. I noticed we were a good team as far as working in the kitchen. For some reason that made me extremely happy. We were done in only a few minutes and I was stressing about how to spend the rest of the evening, but Carter was ahead of me on that one, too.

  “Want to watch a movie?” he asked as I turned on the dishwasher.

  “Um, sure.” I was actually relieved. That would take up a couple of hours that I didn’t have to make conversation. It was starting to feel awkward again.

  “We can see what’s on cable or we can go rent something if you’d rather.”

  I knew he was being polite, letting me make the choice, but I was painfully aware that I didn’t know any of the movies from the past years, so anything on cable was likely to be new to me.

  “Whatever’s on is fine. I’d like to just veg out.” That actually sounded like heaven right at this moment. I was still dressed in the yoga pants and tee shirt, so I didn’t even need to change into more comfortable clothes. I grabbed a fresh glass since I had just p
ut everything away and turned to Carter. “Would you like a drink?”

  “Sure, I’ll take a Coke.” That sounded good to me too so I grabbed two cans and filled both glasses with ice. He took the cans from me and started for the living room. I trailed after him with a tingle in my stomach. We were going to watch a movie. Alone. I felt a little giddy. Foolish, I know, but I still have a pulse. Did I mention that Carter is hot?

  We settled ourselves on opposite sides of the couch and Carter picked up the remote. He held it out to me, but I waved it off. This wasn’t the twenty inch TV I was used to, it was a big flat screen behemoth. Even the remote looked too complicated. He turned it on and started flipping through the channels. I was only vaguely aware of what he was doing; I was too busy watching Carter’s beautiful fingers work the remote.

  “Is this okay?” His voice broke me out of my reverie.

  “Huh?” I jerked my eyes away from his hand and up to his face.

  “Anchorman. It’s pretty good. You like it.”

  “Sure. That sounds great.” I actually remembered that movie, since it was several years old.

  “It doesn’t start for ten more minutes; do you maybe want to talk?”

  He was looking serious. I hoped this wasn’t going to be anything bad. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

  “Do you remember anything at all, about us, I mean?” He looked into my eyes, so hopeful, but I couldn’t lie.

  “I’m sorry Carter, I don’t. The last thing I remember is you being at Cheryl’s house eating pizza and watching a movie. I was pissed off at John for canceling out on me on my night off and Cheryl told me to come over.”

  At the mention of John, Carter’s face tightened. I didn’t mean to upset him; I was just telling him my last memory of the two of us even being in the same room. Now he just looked dejected. I wanted to lean over and pat his arm or something, but I was too chicken to touch him. I wasn’t sure I could control myself; I might sniff him again or something. Uh, my stupid face with its stupid blushes.

  I turned my head forward. Maybe he wouldn’t notice that I was a spazz.

  “What’s wrong? Why is your face all red?” Well, so much for him not noticing.

  “I’m fine.” Crap, Carter noticing my blush just made it worse. Now he would know it was something embarrassing, but there was no way I was going to tell him what I was thinking about.

  “Do you want to know anything?” Boy did I. It was just that I suddenly felt shy and I didn’t have the mental fortitude to start asking a bunch of personal questions that I wasn’t ready to know the answers to just yet.

  I shook my head and Carter sighed. What did he want from me? I just got home from the hospital for goodness sake. I couldn’t deal with this emotional crap right now. How was I supposed to take it all in? I needed to deal with this in baby steps, and learning about a relationship that I have no recollection of is like some kind of giant moon step. I reached forward and grabbed my can of soda, popping the top and pouring it over my ice. It started foaming over the rim of the glass and onto the coffee table.

  “Dang it!” What else was going to go wrong today? No, scratch that, I didn’t need to invite trouble. I lifted my glass off of the table and started slurping the foam from the side. I didn’t even notice Carter had gotten up to get a towel until he thrust it in front of me.

  “Here.” He handed me a paper towel and used another one to wipe off the table. .

  “Thanks.” Could I look more like an imbecile? How embarrassing.

  “No problem,” He didn’t say anything else and took the paper towels back into the kitchen. He came back with two clean ones; I guess he wasn’t sure I was going to be able to drink without further mishap.

  Once he sat down again he picked up the remote and turned the volume on. I guess sharing time was over. He must have realized I couldn’t be counted on for coherent conversation and decided watching previews for other movies was easier all around. That suited me just fine.

  I made myself more comfortable and put my feet up on the coffee table. Hmm. My toes looked pretty nice. The polish wasn’t even chipped. It looked like a fresh pedicure. Nice color. I tried to remember the last time I had gone to the nail place. It had been a while, and this looked like a professional job. Then again, why would I pay someone to do something I could take care of in five minutes? I must be getting better at it. I nodded and wiggled my toes. I did a dang good job.

  The sounds of the movie starting made me stop admiring my feet. Carter turned off the lamp next to him and turned up the volume. I fixed my eyes on the screen, but it couldn’t hold my attention. The last thing I remembered was Will Ferrell doing a cannonball.

  Mmm, so warm. Wait, what? I opened my eyes to the bottom of Carter’s chin.

  “What are you doing?” Suddenly I was totally awake.

  “I’m putting you to bed; you’ve had a long day.” I looked outside the window—it was still light out.

  “It’s too early. I was just taking a nap. Put me down.” He put me down on the bed, and I immediately stood back up. I looked at the clock. “It’s only six thirty. I’m not ready for bed.” I shook my head at him.

  So here we were, in my bedroom. Everything was abruptly awkward.

  “So um, you’re sleeping on the couch, right?” I just blurted it out, so much for trying to finesse the situation.

  He raised his eyebrows as if he hadn’t thought of it at all. “Oh, yeah, that was the plan.” Yeah right. I could tell by his face that I had caught him off guard with that.

  I stifled a yawn. Maybe I was tired. I was planning on a shower so that I could wash my hair, but that could wait until tomorrow. Did I have to do anything tomorrow?

  “What day is it?” I asked. It was strange to not know such a simple thing.

  “Sunday.” He was still standing there. Tomorrow was Monday. Usually I was off on Monday nights, it was the slowest, but I normally went in early in the day to check the stock and order what was needed. It took me a second to remember that I no longer go in on Mondays or any days for that matter.

  “What do I do on Mondays? Do I have something I need to get done?”

  “Not really, you’ve been spending most of your time on your book, you usually post something on Tuesdays, but if things are still…like this, I’ll post that you’re sick or something.”

  Oh. Well, surely Carter works on Mondays, but I couldn’t remember what he told me he did. If so, tomorrow I could spend my time going through my things and trying to remember.

  “What time do you go to work?” I asked as casually as possible.

  “I already called my boss. I’m taking a few days off, just to make sure you’re all good.”

  “Please don’t take off on my account. I don’t want to get you in trouble or anything.” I was trying to get a little alone time because I really didn’t know how I was going to get through another day like this one.

  “It’s fine. Mr. Webster told me to take as much time as I need until you’re back to normal.”

  Nuts. Well, there was nothing to do in this situation but call it a night. Lucy had followed us in here and was already curled up on the bed. Bedtime was her favorite time of the day and I was leaning toward her way of thinking right now.

  “I think I am a little sleepy. I’m just going to get ready for bed.” I hoped he would take the hint and leave, but it wasn’t happening.

  I raised my eyebrows for emphasis when he didn’t make any move to go.

  “Oh. I guess I need to grab my stuff.” He didn’t hurry, but strolled across the room to the dresser and took out a pair of boxer briefs before walking to the closet to pull out a tee shirt and some sweat pants. “Call me if you need anything.” He walked out of the room and I was left standing there, confused. That didn’t go like I thought it would. He didn’t even put up any resistance. I felt strangely deflated.

  I flounced over to the dresser and opened drawers until I found my sleepwear. There were fewer boxers and more night shirts tha
n I remembered, but I still chose a pair of shorts and a tee shirt. I didn’t want to chance wearing something that Carter might take as an invitation. I pulled on my night clothes, but I wasn’t really ready to sleep, so I went out to get a book off of the shelf in the living room.

  When I walked past the bathroom door I heard the shower running. I felt my stomach tighten. This couldn’t keep happening. I felt like I was crushing on him. Geez, what was I, twelve? I hurried down the hall and into the living room, seizing a book at random, but relieved to see it was a Nora Roberts title that I remembered. At least I could open it to any page and know where I was in the story. I went into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, and made my way back to my room. Just as I came to the bathroom door it opened and I was suddenly staring directly at Carter’s bare chest.

  I stopped, blocked by the exquisiteness that was Carter’s unclothed torso, and stood there, unspeaking, just long enough to appear creepy before I pulled myself together.

  “Sorry.” I scurried past him and back into the bedroom, closing the door and leaning up against it while I got my breath back under control. This rooming together thing was going to be tougher than I thought.

  Chapter Eight

  I pushed off from the door, set my water and book on the bedside table and flopped down on the bed. There was something I was missing here. I struggled to remember why I was so opposed to the idea of being with Carter. Really, the only thing that was a major stumbling block was that he was Cheryl’s brother, and that was always in that “no go” area of boyfriends. If there was a breakup, the friend always had to stick with blood. At least I assumed that was what happened; I didn’t have any siblings that I could test this theory with.