Just Add Heat Read online

  I told him I loved him for the first time at the farmer’s market? Aren’t I the romantic fool? I felt slightly embarrassed, but that feeling was far outweighed by the excitement of my memory.

  “Let’s go home, I want to look at pictures and see if I remember anything else.” I tugged him along to the car, and when we got there he paused before opening my door for me.

  “One thing first.” He paused and pulled his hand from mine and moved it up to my face. “I love you, Justine.” He didn’t try to kiss me, but I was too happy to care. I was remembering.

  I didn’t know if I was supposed to say it back. Technically, I wasn’t feeling romantic love toward him right now. I felt grateful, even extra friendly, but I don’t think the lust from this morning would really count as love. I stood there mute. He opened my door still smiling. I guess he wasn’t feeling too slighted.

  He went around to his side while I sat there trying to dredge up something else. Dammit, I couldn’t remember on demand. That’s okay, though. I had already remembered two things today and it wasn’t even noon. He put the bag on the floor in the small backseat area and got in. He looked happy. Really happy.

  “I’m glad we came here,” I said as we pulled out. Not only did I spend some time perusing the offerings, but I had to admit I had a good time with Carter. He didn’t even complain once at all the time I spent fondling vegetables.

  “Me too. I told you I had good memories from here.” That’s right, he had. I’m glad I didn’t know what they were earlier; the pressure probably would have prevented me from remembering a thing.

  We drove home without talking, just like before, but this time I was feeling much more positive.

  Chapter Eleven

  I sat in happy silence. I was happy because, well duh, I was finally remembering some things. Carter was happy, I could only assume, because I remembered where I had told him I loved him for the first time. I wasn’t entirely sure how I was feeling about that. I remembered saying the words, but I couldn’t feel the emotion behind it. That really sucked. On the plus side, though, I hadn’t remembered anything else about my life, but I had already remembered two things regarding Carter.

  For the first time since waking up in the hospital, I really wanted to remember my relationship with him. I wanted to remember being with him. Age really wasn’t coming in to play as the deal breaker I thought it would be. He didn’t seem that young to me anymore. He wasn’t too young unless you’re like fifty. Shoot, even someone fifty years old would find Carter hot. I hadn’t thought of him as Cheryl’s brother, either, which helped matters immensely.

  “Do you want to stop for some lunch?” His voice interrupted my thoughts. Did I want to eat? Hell yes, remembering was hungry work.

  For the first time since I woke in the hospital, I didn’t feel a moment’s hesitation about spending time with Carter. I would be a liar if I said that it had nothing to do with thinking about sex with him. I had been thinking about it quite a lot since I woke up this morning. It was unusual. I really didn’t think about sex all that much. I mean, I liked having it and all; it just wasn’t something I spent too much time worrying about. I had a feeling sex with Carter was going to be something worth thinking about.

  “Well?” Carter’s impatient voice broke into my musings. I realized that I hadn’t answered him out loud.

  “Oh, yeah. I could eat something.” I wanted to scarf down a few tacos or some French fries, that usually made me feel good, but I didn’t want to look like a pig in front of Carter. For some twisted reason I wanted to appear dainty. I saw a Wendy’s up ahead—they served salads! “Why don’t we just drive through at Wendy’s?”

  “Uh, okay.” I guess Carter had somewhere else in mind, but I was anxious to get home and look through my pictures. He pulled in and got in line. I looked at the menu board. Mmm, the burgers and fries were calling me, because even though I mostly avoided beef, sometimes the lure of a cheeseburger was just too strong. But I wasn’t weak.

  “I’ll take a plain baked potato and a side salad, please,” I told him, proud of myself for sounding sensible and healthful.

  He looked at me as if I had grown two heads. “Don’t you want the double?”

  The double patty cheeseburger sounded divine, but I didn’t want him to know that. He did know my eating preferences, though. I was wavering in my convictions. I didn’t want the salad. Well, that’s not true; I wanted the cheeseburger and the salad. Decisions, decisions. Hunger beat dignity.

  “Yeah, I guess I’ll take the double.” I tried to make it sound as if I was only getting it to humor him. “Oh, and a Coke.”

  He ordered two double cheeseburger meals and drove up to the window to pay. I was faced again with my lack of funds, but I did have my fourteen dollars.

  “Here, I’ll pay for this.” I pulled my wallet out of my purse and grabbed my cash. He handed the money to the girl at the window and paid for the food. He handed me the change and then drove forward and took the bag from the teenaged boy in the next window. “Get extra ketchup,” I told him before it was too late and we drove away. He put the drinks in the cup holders and handed me a huge wad of ketchup packets.

  The smell of food was permeating the car, and by the time he parked and we gathered the food and the asparagus and carried it in, I was ravenous. We walked in and I set the drinks and burgers on the island while Carter put the asparagus into the refrigerator. He grabbed some plates and I separated the junk food feast between the two of us.

  I politely waited until he sat down before tearing into my food. After I had eaten most of my fries I moved on to my burger at a ladylike pace. That’s when I remembered my money situation. I had to know if I was on the brink of bankruptcy or if I was finally financially comfortable.

  “Um Carter, do I have any money?” He finished his bite before answering me.

  “What do you mean, exactly?”

  I was embarrassed to have to ask, but it was vitally important to me to know what I was dealing with. “I need to know how much money I have available. Do you know?”

  “Well, not down to the penny, but yeah, I have a pretty good idea. Do you need something? You should have told me.”

  “I was just wondering. I only had fourteen dollars in my wallet, and I wasn’t sure if I had any money in the bank or anything.” I didn’t want to admit to Carter that ever since I bought the house, money had been tight. I always managed to pay the mortgage and keep the electricity on, but often I was glad to be able to eat at the restaurant.

  “I’m pretty sure you’re quite comfortable. Your website is very popular. If you want, you can check online.”

  “Right.” I hadn’t even thought about checking online. I could have saved myself a lot of embarrassment. “Thanks.” We finished eating and I threw all the trash away. I wanted to look through my photo albums, but I needed to know my financial picture.

  I left Carter in the kitchen and went straight to the office computer. I was jarred by the furnishings again as I grabbed a pen out of a hairy Chewbacca mug on my desk, ready to jot down my balance. I pulled up my bank online, but it didn’t let me into my account. I tried again. Denied. I was getting frustrated. I typed in my information one more time. It sent me to a page that told me I was being locked out for security reasons. Great, now I was on some kind of a hackers list or something. I banged my fist down on the keyboard. Carter picked that moment to walk in.

  “What’s wrong?” He came and looked over my shoulder. “What did you do?”

  “I don’t know. It wouldn’t accept my information.” I was feeling angry and embarrassed, all my happiness from earlier had evaporated with my money and technology problems.

  He leaned over me and looked closer. “This isn’t even your bank, Justine.”

  “Yes it is. I’ve always banked here.” I think I know my own bank.

  “Not anymore. You bank at First National now. You have for the past six months. We both have. They opened a branch right around the corner.”


  It stuck me again that he knew things I had no idea about. “Can you help me check?”

  “Sure.” I hopped up and he took the chair before digging in the desk drawer and pulling out a check book. I looked closely at it, it was mine. He typed in the account numbers and password.

  “How do you know my password?”

  He smirked at me. “You told me. It’s sexyCarter1.”

  I felt my face flame. I felt like I was in middle school and the cute boy I had a crush on found a note I wrote about him.

  “Don’t worry, I picked something equally cheesy.”

  “Hmm.” I waited while my information popped up. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. There, right before my eyes was $7,344.19. That was impossible.

  “What is this?” Carter must have typed in his own information.

  “Your checking account.” No way, there was no way that was correct.

  “That can’t be right. That’s too much.”

  “It is. I told you your website is popular. I wasn’t exaggerating. You are doing very well. Once you get the advance for the cookbook, you’ll be doing even better.” Oh my god. I’m rich. Well, maybe other people wouldn’t think seven thousand dollars was much, but as far as I was concerned, I was loaded.

  “Anything else you need to know?” I knew I was grinning like a fool. I just shook my head. Wow. Not only am I kind of famous, I’m rich, too. Oh yeah, and I have a hot boyfriend. The only downside was that I couldn’t remember any of this. But hey, on the upside I was now one of those people. The kind of person that other people envy.

  I took a moment to glory in my newfound awesomeness. I didn’t know what I should do next. I wanted to go look at some pictures or something, but I also wanted to laze around and think about how good things were going in the life that I couldn’t remember.

  “Nah, I’m good.” Dang right I’m good. I’ve finally arrived. I thought of the pictures. I wasn’t sure where we kept them. “Do we have some photos I could look at? I already looked at the book beside the bed. I was hoping something would click, but unfortunately nothing did.”

  He nodded. “There are some on here.” He motioned to the computer. “Plus, I think you have a bunch on your phone.” Oh yeah, I had forgotten my phone, I probably have some cool stuff on there.

  “Well, let’s look at them. You can tell me when and where and everything.”

  “Okay.” He opened a folder marked “Pictures.” Hmm, you’d think I would have noticed that since it was on the desktop and all.

  I pulled his stool from his drafting table and perched on it right next to him. He started going through the pictures one by one. There were a lot of shots with no humans, just mountains and snow.

  “These are from when we went skiing in Colorado.” I went skiing? Who is this new me? I must not be as clumsy as I remember. Nice.

  I sat in silence as other pictures came up. Me alone, Carter alone, the two of us together at some party. Oh, those are from Cheryl’s house. I placed my hand on top of Carter’s to make him pause. I got that same jolt as earlier, but I didn’t have a new flash of memory. I looked closer at the picture. It was obviously taken by someone else because Carter and I were looking at each other with what can only be described as heat. I got a tingle in my belly. I wanted to remember that moment. It looked hot. I realized I still had my hand on Carter’s so I pulled it away.

  He moved on to the next pictures. Nothing looked familiar to me. I was becoming frustrated again. I must have made some sound because Carter turned to me, placing his face mere inches from mine. I couldn’t move. The only thing I could do was take a deep breath. His scent hit me like a ton of bricks. Suddenly, I did have a memory. I was sniffing Carter, but we weren’t wearing any clothes. We weren’t sitting upright either. His smell triggered a memory of sex and my body was suddenly craving it. It’s like my body remembered what my mind refused to. I leaned into him, like I had in the kitchen, but this time I wasn’t embarrassed by it; I was turned on. There was only one thing to do in this situation. My mouth had a mind of its own.

  “Can we have sex?”

  Chapter Twelve

  Omigod, did that just come out of my mouth? I sat still in mortification, but on the inside I was churning. Please say yes. Please say yes.

  He jerked his head back so that he could look at me. “What?” I didn’t answer him. He heard me, and I wasn’t brave enough to repeat it. “Justine, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He used the voice of someone trying to let you down gently. “Not that I don’t want to.”

  Yeah right, I’ve heard that before. Really, I have. Unfortunately, this was not the first time I had been turned down for sex. However, it was the first time I had been rejected by someone who supposedly loved me. My sense of humiliation increased tenfold with that thought. I had to get out of here.

  I made to hop off my stool but he grabbed my arm and wouldn’t let me escape.

  “Uh uh. You’re not going to say something like that and run away. Why do you want to have sex with me? Right now?”

  I didn’t want to tell him what I had just remembered, but I realized if I didn’t I would be denied for sure.

  “I just had a flash of memory when I smelled you. I could remember us in bed.” He widened his eyes and waited for me to continue. “I was sniffing you just now and I could see us, naked, in bed.” I was embarrassed to tell him this. Once again it made me seem like I had some kind of sniffing fetish.

  His eyes had changed. First they were taken by surprise, then interest, now they were filled with lust. Oh yeah, he wanted me. My ego re-inflated, and I wanted to gloat, but there was no time. I felt like a squirming, melting mess.

  “Justine, when we are together like that again, I want you to know it’s me. I need you to know me.”

  For butt’s sake, how could he turn down an offer of sex? I only had a fleeting memory, but I could see we were hot together. It wasn’t right. Not only am I currently being denied my life, but I am also being denied a necessary part of human companionship in the form of scorching hot intercourse.

  I took my hands off his shoulders and stood up.

  “Wait. Juss, wait.”

  I didn’t listen, instead scurrying into the bedroom and closing the door. I flopped down on the bed. I felt horribly lonely. It was strange; spending the morning with Carter had been great, I felt comfortable for the first time in two days. I wanted to spend more time with him. I couldn’t help the fact that I wanted to be with him. I guess the real problem was that my hormones had gone into overdrive and I had ended up propositioning him like a street walker.

  So, here I was, back on the bed, writhing in humiliation. It’s like some kind of sick pattern. I wanted to leave the house and drive around or something, but I didn’t have anywhere to go. I thought about Cheryl. Of course! I could go to her house. I just couldn’t tell her what happened. Some things were even too humiliating to share with your best friend. I sat up. I was going to get my phone and call her. I had only gotten as far as the thought of leaving when the bedroom door opened.

  “Please leave,” I said politely. “I could use a little time on my own.”

  “I’ve got a better idea. You said you smelled me and remembered. Try it again.”

  “What?” Uh, no.

  “Smell me.” He said it quietly, but it was a command.

  I looked over at him. He had pulled his long sleeved shirt off, so all he had on was a form fitting white tee shirt and his jeans. He looked positively edible. My mind drove me right back to downtown Lustville.

  “I don’t know.” I was afraid of getting all worked up again and then being shoved aside like some humping puppy. I was in a precarious state of mind. I didn’t need the rejection.

  “Come on Justine, you know you want to.” He sounded like a drug pusher. He knew I needed a fix. I could only hold out for so long. He sat next to me.

  “All right. One sniff, then I’m leaving.” Even to my own ears this conversation sounded bizarre. I leaned ove
r and smelled his tee shirt. Damn, he smelled delicious. I closed my eyes and really let myself get into it.

  He moaned and his arm came up around my waist. I'll take that as a good sign. I pulled my hands up to his shoulders to steady myself and got up on my knees. He didn’t move, but his eyes closed. Mmhmm. I was going to get some.

  I threw one knee over his thighs so that I was straddling him. I tilted my head so that I could smell his neck, and I couldn’t stop my tongue from touching his skin. It was slightly salty, but it just turned me on more. My lips moved from his neck to his jaw, never breaking contact. I placed my hand on either side of his head, about to connect with his mouth, when I felt myself being flipped down onto my back on the bed.

  He was on top of me in an instant kissing me with a passion he had obviously been holding back yesterday.

  “Justine.” He whispered it into my mouth. I felt good. No, good is too tame, I felt great. My skin felt electric.

  My hands went sliding under his shirt, making contact with the smooth skin of his stomach. I felt his muscles tense under my fingertips. That wasn’t all I felt. I could feel the hard bulge of his peen pressing into my thigh. I did a happy dance in my head. Yay for me! I moved my legs to press against it and he groaned. I could feel it all down my body.

  “Please Carter, please.” I didn’t like to beg, but desperate times and all that.

  He pulled his head back and opened his eyes. “Take your shirt off.” Yes. Now we were getting somewhere. I moved out from under him slightly while I pulled the tunic off, sorry that I had a bra on. He popped open the clasp with his beautiful long fingers and cupped my left breast all the while pushing us back down onto the mattress. Before I could take another breath, he had his mouth attached to my right breast, causing a tingle all the way down to my toes.

  I laid there like a slug, just moaning and squirming, waiting for him to really get down to business when two things happened at once. Lucy started barking ferociously and the doorbell chimed. No, Nooooo! I wanted to put my hands over Carter’s ears, but it was too late. He stopped what he was doing, what I was secretly starting to believe he was born to do, and sat up quickly. I continued to lie there, prostrate, in a stupor of yearning.